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Tree of Life Counselling

Image by Niels Weiss
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  • Writer's pictureAmy Bambury

Are we searching for the ideal? or are we simply looking for peace...?

As I walked through a nature reserve last weekend with my dogs, I thought how idyllic it was.

The sun was shining, birds singing, people nearby playing with their dogs, a photographer by the water creating the perfect shot, it was all very peaceful.

Towards the edge of the reserve, by the canal, were some new build houses, seemingly perfect from the outside, and abutted by a small children's' playground, where children played, laughing and squealing.


It got me to thinking, what is it we are trying to do here, in this space called life, on this planet called Earth? We grow up trying to be good at school, as good as our siblings or our peers, we leave and go to Uni or to work and are rewarded for good behaviour, grades, or targets met. The IDEAL 1st for the degree. The employee of the month. The gold star collection on the McDonalds employee badge.

We seek the perfect partner. We plan the perfect wedding, and/or say 'lets have a baby!' with a perfect baby envisioned.


In reality we may get stressed in exams, feel inadequate when comparing ourselves, scrape through our degree- or fail and drop out of Uni.

Someone dies, and we miss employee of the month because of that week off we needed. We eat the wedding cake and the arguments start and the baby comes out crying, and doesn't stop.

That sounds nothing like what we had in mind eh?

Ahhh Romance!

Ahhh Wedding!

Ahh Baby!

when actually it can be more like ARGGGHHHH!!!

However, we do occasionally hit that much coveted 'perfect' moment. Where a flower is given, the magical photo is taken- at exactly the right moment on the 'best day' of our life, and the baby smiles on cue. We feel at peace and happiness it attained.

Think for a moment... when was the last time you felt that magical moment of peace?

Was it a meal that turned out just like the picture?

Was it when you finally finished that report?

Was it when the kids were finally asleep and you stared at your long awaited glass of wine/bowl of ice cream/fire pit all aglow...?

...and then breathed. Ahhh.


On this walk at the weekend, I wondered, are we tasking ourselves to try and recreate this ALL the time? Our relationships need to be happier, our house needs to be tidier, our children need to cry less or dogs need to bark less and not pee up the kitchen bin.

So much pressure.

And for what.

Peace? Happiness? or could we get peace or happiness without these high expectations?

Could we focus on Peace instead of Perfection...Acceptance instead of Annoyance...

If we think about what brings us peace, what springs to mind?

What makes you feel at peace?

For me, the answer to that is, nature, a bubble bath, a paid bill, a finished blog, a successful meditation or switching my phone off. But it's also a state of mind, an ability to put things down, or the bubble bath may be just as annoying as the inadequacies of life.

Do you know how to get peace?

Can you remember what it feels like?

Are you thinking, if I reached the ideal, I would feel peace? It seems like a vicious circle doesn't it. Maybe if we felt peace, we wouldn't need the ideal anymore, which seems a strange concept.

Maybe as we head into this weekend, we can think about where we see or feel peace and how we might create more of it in our lives, without having to reach that ideal, tick that box or feel perfect.

Maybe we can be happy with this moment.

Right here.

Right now.

After all, right now is all we ever truly have.

Until next time

Amy B :)

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