Is this a scary thought for you? or does it make you curious?
Whilst I've been on this journey of facing my anxiety with flying, I have come to discover a few things. Please indulge me with a few moments of your precious time while I share my recent thought process with you...
Firstly, I have begun to tell myself I don't have anxiety.
You know, that thing that comes along and stops you from doing the things you'd like to do? they call it anxiety.
I figured if I stopped telling myself 'I can't' (because of the anxiety) and deny the feelings I have about anxiety then that means they're not real.. surely?
Now, this is an interesting thing for a counsellor to do, as I spend my days telling people to face their feelings, to own them, hold them. So that made me question, what I was in fact doing.
Was I hiding from my feelings? my fears? Was I avoiding my anxiety? Hiding from it?
Then, I remembered, way back, when I had CBT, I was told panic wasn't real.
PANIC isn't real.
That was a bombshell I can tell you. So, what, I'm creating it all in my head?
Yes. Yes, you are.
Soooo, if it's not real, then it's ok to deny it. Like monsters under the bed, they're not real either and I can dismiss them too.
Now... if I don't have anxiety and the feelings aren't real, AND I'm ok to bin them off, what does that mean???
...and heres where we reach my Second point...I CAN DO ANYTHING!!! I'm free!!
If I don't have anxiety, I'm not scared of anything which ultimately means I can do anything, and I think you can guess what comes Third can't you....
Third: No anxiety = No comfort zone (because there's no need for one).
There are no limits. The comfort zone is there to keep us 'comfortable' to limit us.
Keep us 'safe'.
You know what they say, "Theres no growth in the comfort zone and there's no comfort in the growth zone".
Well, way to go, sure, I want to break out of my comfort zone when you put it like that! Not.
Get rid of the idea of the comfort zone even existing. Who even invented those words anyway???
With no comfort zone aka 'dead zone', I can literally do anything I want to do, everything is open for me to try!
Sure, there are some limits of which I have limited control over like finances, I also could be a marathon runner, except I don't want to run marathons, but the point is nothing is stopping me, I can if I want.
So, go ahead, let that thought just sit in your head for a while if you dare, and think of something that you could do that's new, don't even think of it as outside of your zone, just think of it as an isolated new experience.
Don't let 'you' or any fake feelings get in your way.
You deserve more.
Go and get it.
Until next time